My Belly And I

If the sizes of a medicine ball or small and pointy like a melon: A pregnant woman’s belly is always an eye-catcher. We collected some interesting facts about the most beautiful belly in the world.

Why are bellies so different?

Each pregnancy belly is as unique as the woman who is carrying and the child that grows in it. Even so the myth that the form of the belly can indicate the sex of the child persists, it is untrue. The truth is that it is more a physical pre-condition of the mom to be.

If a woman is rather small and petite the baby does not has much room to expand it self like in the case of a tall woman with longer vertebra. This is the reason why the belly appears earlier as she is carrying it all in the front.

In case of a small pelvis the baby has not sufficient room to lower itself all the way down. The belly stays higher and arches further out.

The posture of a woman also plays a roll: A hollow-back pushes the belly further out and appears to be bigger.

If you have trained abs and firm connective tissue your belly will most likely not arch out as much in an unfit woman.

Not only will the size of the child influence the sizes of the belly. Very important is also the amount of amniotic fluid. It can be as little as about 10 FL OZ. or a much as 50 FL OZ. and you can see if you carry a pound or two more around.

As more pregnancies a woman has as more round and less high will her belly be. Uterus, aps and the complete body tissues are heavily stretched due to the pregnancy. Up to a certain degree this will regulate itself but without specific muscle training you will feel it latest in a new pregnancy.

Picture found on http://www.tiredofbeingpregnant.com/2011/09/beautiful-pregnant-bellies.html

This Belongs To Me Now

Child psychologists explain how parents should behave in a situation like this, using the following example.

The situation: Robin finds a toy in the playground. Justin takes it way from Robin. Both children fight. Robin loses and starts crying. Both mothers who have been absorbed by their conversation first realize that something is wrong when they hear Robin cry.

For both mother to understand the situation the question has to be “What happened,” not “Why are you crying!” Experts say that the word WHY is increasing the conflict. Same wrong behavior would be to accuse the child with: “What have you done now again.

De-escalate with the following question: What happened, who had the toy first?” This is a question the child can answer.

Now you can say: “Justin, did you ask Robin if you could have the toy? No? You have to ask first, please give the toy back to Robin. If Justin has no intention to follow your request you can use the technique of a broken disc repeat the same sentence over and over again. Justin, give back the toy, you have to ask first. Best is to use the sentence Justin has to say. This way Justin learns how to behave in a situation of conflict.

Another possibility is to swap. Justin could offer Robin another toy to interchange.

Even so swapping is a makeshift because children learn to share only in exchange of something else the modern social society often works like this.

This is the last of our 5 articles regarding the topic Playing is easy – is it not? If you liked it please comment and/or give suggestion.

Thank you

Letice

 

 

I Pinch That – Now It Is Mine

The situation: Leticia is driving Sofia’s bicycle. Leticia likes to have it back, but gets totally ignored by Sofia. Leticia’s mom tells her several times to return the bicycle but she gets ignored too. Leticia’s mom feels pressured because she can feel that Sofia’s mom is getting inpatient. Leticia’s mom just stops her daughter, gets her off the bike and gives it back to Sofia. Leticia starts to cry.

Experts say that: By acting like this you play the judge and you deprive your child of her powers.  She has no more possibilities to make any type of decision, good or bad. The effect of learning something out of this situation is absolutly zero. Naturally you have to intervene because your child needs an arbitrator to help to solve the situation. Maybe like the following example; “Leticia did you ask Sofia if you could have her bicycle? – And you still like to ride? (By saying this you verbalize the conflict. Leticia feels that she is taken serious). “Ok, but now we have a problem. We have two kids but only one bike what are we going to do now? (You slow down the conflict) “What can we do?

Almost half of the times acting/reacting like this you will win your case because one of the kids will say: “Shall she keep it! In case this strategy does not work, try other proposals for solutions. If both children cannot agree to any suggestions than it is time to say: Ok, if none of you has an idea and can agree on something than I have to make a decision.

 

Sharing hurts

The following scenario is an example on how to handle conflict situations if your child does not wants to share.

The scenario: Paul likes to play with Sherman’s favorite red fire truck. Sherman snatches the car out of his hands. At the same time he grabs with his other hand everything else around him. Paul has no right to touch any of his toys. Mom shouts: You must give him something to play with or otherwise he will not visit you again.

(I have to admit, I have done the exact same thing.)

First problem is you are blackmailing you child, second your child is not yet old enough to understand the consequences. Never the less it is correct to intervene. As verbal communications at this age are still limited, as a parent you are committed to help out.

Example: Paul, why don’t you ask Sherman what toy you may have?

The possibility that Sherman lets Paul have one toy is relatively high even if it is just the most uninteresting one of all. If he accomplished that first step it will make it easier for him to give up on the red fire truck 10 minutes later.

If Sherman rejects to give up even one single toy you have the chance to say: Sherman you don’t want to share a toy? – Mmh, this is silly, sorry Paul but all the toys belong to Sherman. I would like to give you some but those are not mine.

It is a way for you slow down the conflict and Sherman learns to understand that he is accepted and he has control over (the situation) his toys. Than you can try again: “Look Sherman, maybe Paul can play with the police car”?

If that does not help take Paul aside and let him play with things they don’t belong to Sherman (keys, pencil and paper etc. I won’t take long and Sherman is ready to give up on his rebellious stance because the new game is much too interesting to not join in.

Golden Rules For Play Dates

Let us start with some reflections to make this play party a nerve saving and hopefully a tear free experience.

The preparation! Hide the toys you know are your child’s favorites. For instants the cuddle bear he/she sleeps with or the new red truck you know he would never like to share. This way you avoid putting your child in the situation to have to give up on something he would never ever do.

What is the best time? Kids in a happy and relaxed mood fight less. Who had a good night sleep or a nap is less grouchy and whiny. So the best time depending on the age would be in the morning after breakfast and before the energy level at lunch goes down. A good time is also after the nap in the early afternoon.

How long should it last? Don’t try a marathon. Children of the age of 2 to 3 have a play tolerance of about an hour maximum 90 minutes smaller children respectively less. No matter what, parents are always there as a referee.

How many kids shall I invite? In the beginning you should limit the invite to just one child especially if they have to play inside. To ask your child  to pay attention to more than one kid is too much for children at the age of 3 or under.

Sources of distraction! TV, computer or radio are no background entertainment. Please shut them off because it will distract and overwork the children concentration. Same applies to cd stories.  Kids playing with others are busy and have enough stimulation trying to concentrate on the action of the other one.

Choosing the games! Let the children choose the games. But make clear that there has to be a decision on what and how many toys otherwise you run the risk that all the toys will be dragged out. If you see that for example the ball, the puzzle or the Duplo blocks become rather unattractive don’t offer new game immediately. It is important that you give fresh impulses like: “You could build a garage, mix the puzzle again or let the ball touch the floor before catching. Sometimes it is easier to promote cooperation through a variation of the known, rather than of new toys.

The territory! If you plan on having the play date in your child’s room than you put yourself up for conflict. A neutral territory like the family room or the kitchen if big enough is the best choice. It is easier to compromise in “nobody’s land”.

The supervisor! Stay close, children need the help of adults to learn how to act and react in case of a conflict.  Don’t expect that at your first play party your kids will play all by themselves. You are the referee: “Samantha took my doll? Ok I understand it is yours maybe we can find another one Samantha likes and we can exchange?”

 

Playing is easy, is it not?

Playing together with others is an art which has to be learned. If you think about starting a play party for your child here we show you what you can do to make this event a great experience for all. Starting today and every day for the following 4 days we will touch a different aspect of playing is easy. Please read our suggestions, plus if you like, comment our articles and let us know your personal experiences at your child’s play party.

How to make the first play date a success!

A children get together under the age of four is not a “tea party” for parents. There is constant dispute to be settled, help and motivation has to be given when needed. You probably think: This is something they can do it on their own? No they cannot, at least not yet. Because: Playing together with others is social learning. Adults need to show how to behave in case one child takes the scoop of the other one or one troughs a fit because he gets the blue car instead of the red car. Here is what parents can do to have a successful first play date!

Rules for playing together:

If you consider the 8 golden rules your play party should be a success and a pleasure for children and moms alike.

Learn how to play – learn how to dispute:

One does not go without the other, here you can read how kids learn how to play and how to dispute.

Sharing hurts:

Who really likes to share what belongs to him? But who can give has learned a lot for their life. If children have to share what belongs to them we will encounter resistance.

I pinch that:

Little once have still a problem to make a difference between mine and yours. If you ask your child to give back what belongs to another child it will most of the times end in a conflict.

This now belongs to me:

It really gets complicated if they have to share what does not belong to anybody. How to solve this problem we show  you here.

The Hip Swing

Illustration: Nila AyeAdult movements are parallel. For instants adults stand right in front of a chair and then sit down. Anyone who has ever observed a child sitting down can tell it looks much different. Children need a rotation to do these movements. Whether they go from a lying down to a crawler position or from sitting down to a stand up in any case they move in a spiral way from one position to the next. Parents who have this in mind can use this moving pattern when sitting down with the baby in their arms. Apparently this spiral movement shell help in cases of bellyache and bloating.

Authors: Nora Imlau

Illustrationen: Nila Aye

Drinking With My Body

Illustration: Nila AyeWhen babies drink they need not only their mouth to do so they need their body too. In order to learn the process of sucking and swallowing often the full buddy is in demand. As an example: It helps almost all babies if they can put their hand on mom’s breast or on the bottle. Infants also drink more even and calm if their feet are not dangling in the air. Simply put your hand under the little feeds to give them a boundary. Parents who recognize and react on the babies needs can calm them down and prevent digestive problems.

Authors: Nora Imlau

Illustrationen: Nila Aye

Come Up, You Can Do It!

Illustration: Nila AyeBabies get picked up and put down many times a day. We automatically choose the shorts “way” of doing it. Think about it: Your baby lies on it back, you come, place a hand under its body and the other under his head and up you go. The same way we do it lying the baby down. This is an unnatural move for your child and there is no chance for it to actively participate. Your baby enjoys rolling from his back with a little gentle help to his tummy. When prop up the arms your hand is holding and supporting the little chest and slowly move into a supported stand up position. Now is the perfect time to pick up your happy bundle of joy.

Authors: Nora Imlau

Illustrationen: Nila Aye