Child psychologists explain how parents should behave in a situation like this, using the following example.
The situation: Robin finds a toy in the playground. Justin takes it way from Robin. Both children fight. Robin loses and starts crying. Both mothers who have been absorbed by their conversation first realize that something is wrong when they hear Robin cry.
For both mother to understand the situation the question has to be “What happened,” not “Why are you crying!” Experts say that the word WHY is increasing the conflict. Same wrong behavior would be to accuse the child with: “What have you done now again.
De-escalate with the following question: What happened, who had the toy first?” This is a question the child can answer.
Now you can say: “Justin, did you ask Robin if you could have the toy? No? You have to ask first, please give the toy back to Robin. If Justin has no intention to follow your request you can use the technique of a broken disc repeat the same sentence over and over again. Justin, give back the toy, you have to ask first. Best is to use the sentence Justin has to say. This way Justin learns how to behave in a situation of conflict.
Another possibility is to swap. Justin could offer Robin another toy to interchange.
Even so swapping is a makeshift because children learn to share only in exchange of something else the modern social society often works like this.
This is the last of our 5 articles regarding the topic Playing is easy – is it not? If you liked it please comment and/or give suggestion.
Playing together with others is an art which has to be learned. If you think about starting a play party for your child here we show you what you can do to make this event a great experience for all. Starting today and every day for the following 4 days we will touch a different aspect of playing is easy. Please read our suggestions, plus if you like, comment our articles and let us know your personal experiences at your child’s play party.
How to make the first play date a success!
A children get together under the age of four is not a “tea party” for parents. There is constant dispute to be settled, help and motivation has to be given when needed. You probably think: This is something they can do it on their own? No they cannot, at least not yet. Because: Playing together with others is social learning. Adults need to show how to behave in case one child takes the scoop of the other one or one troughs a fit because he gets the blue car instead of the red car. Here is what parents can do to have a successful first play date!
Rules for playing together:
If you consider the 8 golden rules your play party should be a success and a pleasure for children and moms alike.
Learn how to play – learn how to dispute:
One does not go without the other, here you can read how kids learn how to play and how to dispute.
Who really likes to share what belongs to him? But who can give has learned a lot for their life. If children have to share what belongs to them we will encounter resistance.
I pinch that:
Little once have still a problem to make a difference between mine and yours. If you ask your child to give back what belongs to another child it will most of the times end in a conflict.
This now belongs to me:
It really gets complicated if they have to share what does not belong to anybody. How to solve this problem we show you here.